Run away with me

  • *hears noises at night*: well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life
  • *gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now how am I ever going to see my first born child
  • *heart is beating fast*: I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is
  • *a cop walks by*: here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone
  • *taking a test*: don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school and amount to nothing
  • *gets a sunburn*: great now I have skin cancer how will I tell my parents
  • *tripping over something*: I guess my leg will have to be amputated why did this happen to me
  • *period is late*: shit i'm pregnant i'm the next virgin mary

The awkwardness when I’m socially anxiously panicking and eating a fortune cookie and it’s like it doesn’t even know my life, wtf u were supposed to be my friend

michaelsocha:

My sex change operation got botched; my guardian angel fell asleep on the watch; now all I got is a Barbie doll crotch; I’ve got an angry inch!

Hedwig and the Angry Inch, 2001

theeaglesfan005:

This scene. 🚐

#oitnb #OrangeIsTheNewBlack #RosaCisneros

theeaglesfan005:

This scene. 🚐

#oitnb #OrangeIsTheNewBlack #RosaCisneros

fucking-fantrolls-everywhere:

yifftrolls:

healthy polyamorous: 3 people all in a happy relationship \o/

unhealthy polyamorous: joe loves becky and jim. becky is not comfortable sharing joe with jim, but stays quiet anyway.

not a polyamorous: joe has 4 girlfriends. shhhh. they dont know.

THIS

(via nuclearstarlight)